加拿大語(yǔ)言考試托福寫作如何上30分
接觸過托福的同學(xué)們都知道寫作部分一定要多多重視,主要是寫作屬于輸出項(xiàng)目,很多同學(xué)們都會(huì)遇到?jīng)]有足夠內(nèi)容寫,寫作思路不夠的情況。所以對(duì)于不少托福新手來說,寫作想拿到30分滿分的確是一項(xiàng)挑戰(zhàn)。托??荚?/a>
那么滿分作文到底長(zhǎng)什么樣子呢?自己和滿分作文之間的差距又是什么呢?在最新版《托福官方指南第六版》中,給出了的全新例題和參考范文。為同學(xué)們整理了被ETS官方評(píng)為High-Level的獨(dú)立寫作范文,讓我們一起學(xué)習(xí)一下優(yōu)秀范文~
獨(dú)立寫作題目:
Do you agree or disagree with the followin statement?
Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends.
High-Level Response:
In my opinion,students are more influenced by their friends rather than their teachers.Therefore,I disagree with the statement"Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends."
I do not disagree with the fact that students get influenced by their teachers,however,I believe that this"influence"is mostly within the field of academics.In most cases,the only time that students communicate with the teacher is in the school building,in the classroom.Most of the discussions are about topics related to studies.However,with friends,students often tend to discuss a variety of topics,such as studies,friends,relationships,and families.Therefore,students are generally influenced more broadly by their friends,while the only influence made by the teachers are mostly academical.
The amount of time spent with the teacher or friend,also effect on how much influence has been made to a person.As mentioned previously,the time that students communicate with the teachers is restricted to school hours.However,students spend or communicate with their friends not only in school but even outside the school campus and school hours.Especially with the emerging technology,and the development of mobile phones and the internet,students are now able to communicate with their friends at any time where ever they are.Since the amount of time spent communicating with their friends are much larger than the time spent with the teachers,there are more chance of the students being influenced by their friends rather than their teachers.
Also,it is normal that the students feel psychologically more attached to the people in their age group,especially with their friends.The teachers are usually from different generations from the students and this may cause the students to feel that there is a distance between how they think/feel and how the teachers think/feel.Since the students are more emotionally and psychologically attached to their friends,they feel more comfortable to discuss their issues with them and accept their responses more openly and easily.This fact relates directly to how much they are influenced by their friends.
For these reasons,I believe that students are more influenced by their friends than by their teachers.
在這篇參考范文的前面,標(biāo)注了這篇文章屬于High-Level Response.而根據(jù)官方文件,High Level對(duì)應(yīng)具體分?jǐn)?shù)的范圍是(25-30分)。
官方評(píng)語(yǔ):“This essay earns a high score.It does an excellent job in terms of topic development and organization.”這篇文章得了高分,它在文段展開和結(jié)構(gòu)方面做的非常優(yōu)秀。
加拿大語(yǔ)言考試托福寫作如何上30分
具體分析:這道題是一個(gè)包含對(duì)比的現(xiàn)象題型。文章是典型的5段式,開頭段+主體段*3+結(jié)尾段。作者找了3個(gè)對(duì)比點(diǎn),從“影響的領(lǐng)域”“在一起的時(shí)間”和“心理傾向”,在每一段就進(jìn)行了"老師"和"朋友"的對(duì)比。每個(gè)主體段都用到了不同的邏輯展開的方式。
一.開頭段:
In my opinion,students are more influenced by their friends rather than their teachers.Therefore,I disagree with the statement'Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends'.
很簡(jiǎn)單,很直接地陳述作者自己的觀點(diǎn)。并不影響得分。為寫開頭段苦惱的同學(xué),完全可以模仿這種寫法。
二.主體段①:讓步反段
I do not disagree with the fact that students get influenced by their teachers,however,I believe that this"influence"is mostly within the field of academics.I do not disagree with the fact that students get influenced by their teachers,however,I believe that this"influence"is mostly within the field of academics.
先承認(rèn),學(xué)生確實(shí)會(huì)被老師影響。但是,主要是在”academics“學(xué)術(shù)領(lǐng)域。簡(jiǎn)單展開后,和朋友對(duì)比。在此之外,學(xué)生們更愿意跟朋友談?wù)摳鄻拥脑掝}。
三.主體段②:列舉
The amount of time spent with the teacher or friend,also effect on how much influence has been made to a person....However,students spend or communicate with their friends not only in school but even outside the school campus and school hours.
第2個(gè)比較點(diǎn),學(xué)生跟老師交流的時(shí)間有限。但是跟朋友們不僅在校內(nèi),也會(huì)在校外交流。
四.主體段③:對(duì)比
Also,it is normal that the students feel psychologically more attached to the people in their age group,especially with their friends....
第3個(gè)對(duì)比點(diǎn),因?yàn)槟挲g的差距,跟老師有代溝"there is a distance.."。但是跟朋友,就沒有這樣的差距,所以學(xué)生在心里上就更愿意跟朋友討論。托福寫作
四.結(jié)尾段
For these reasons,I believe that students are more influenced by their friends than by their teachers.
反觀托福獨(dú)立寫作的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),一共有3個(gè)要點(diǎn):
1.Development
2.Organization
3.Language use
看上去這三個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)好像沒有任何的操作性,但是,上面的三個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)就是:有展開、有邏輯、少犯錯(cuò)。從這篇High-Level的獨(dú)立寫作范文來看,單純套用模板背例子,在托福寫作中是行不通的,真正行得通的,是文章邏輯完整,有理有據(jù)地讓考官看懂你的觀點(diǎn)。
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